Wednesday, October 27, 2010

My life Update

Hello All

so I know I haven't been on here in so long, I'm really sorry about that. I guess life has gotten away from me. This month has been a bad one for me, this is something I need to get off my chest because it's a painful thing I went through, my BF Justin and I got prego well I did ( did is the hint word here) in Sept I took a home prego test and it said I was, I was shocked for many reason 1. I live at home still 2. I'm not ready to have a baby and 3. Justin an I need to have a place of our own. I went to the doctors they did blood work and a few other test everything seemed okay till one day I went to the bathroom and I started to spot reason for me freakin out is I was prego with Justin in 2008 I bled through out the whole time every time I went to the doctors he said your fine just go on bed rest at 19 wks Feb 22 2:00 am in the morning I lost what was our baby boy cuz my OBGYN had no clue what the hell he was doing, I had a very bad infection and it pushed out the baby, so that's the reason for my freak out. I went to my new OBGYN she said the heart beat wasn't were it should be it should read 130-140 it was at 100 at about 6wks. I had a feel something was going to go wrong so I never got my hopes up high, I went for a few ultra sounds and the last one was this passed Tue 26 the heart beat stopped at 7wks. My doctor called me said we can do 1 out of 3 things wait have it pass on it own but that could be a few wks, have a DNC or take 4 pills you put up your you no what an that starts the miscarry, so I went for 3. I did this last night at 7pm it took 3 hours for it to start to bleed and pass, it was soo painful I was up all night with cramps and changing pads about every hour to 30mins, I took another day off from work and now I'm laying in bed, thinking why does this keep happening to me. I did talk with my doctor about doing a few different test but I have to went about a month for my body to go back to normal. It's not a easy thing to go through an I can never understand why some people it's soo easy an others it's not then you have people that toss their babies out the car window an drive off, just kills me really does

I'm doing okay and I think for now I'm going to hold off on the baby making thing it's more of a let down to me then anything, you get your hopes soo high an then it gets shoot down soo fast

Thank You for ready Love me

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